Exams were sort of okay,
I thought it would be a killer...
but hey, except that i screwed up chinese, the rest went pretty well

Recently i found a new series of exciting books to read,
so i've been going to the library often
and to popular too!
There are new Mr Midnight books haha
Yesterday, Friday.
Just ate my lunch alone at KFC,
ate the Value something box meal, cost me $7.00 lol
Then my sis came to lot 1 to order mcdonalds take away for lunch at home...
so i bought the $2.70 ice cream, some choc mc flurry... i know, im a glutton hahas
Then Zhuoning msged me, said that samantha invited me to watch a movie with them...
either BandSlam at 2.40pm at lot 1, or the Proposal at 3pm at West Mall...
Band slam sounds lame to me, so i watched the proposal...since Atiqah said the trailer was interesting...

Was eating my icecream halfway, and reading my borrowed book,
when Zhuoning said they were at lot 1's roof garden...
so i went up there, and sat down to finish my ice cream... dint see them anyway.
so i waited for quite awhile, before getting up and finding them...
turns out they were at the other side of the play area. lol

Well, on the way down, they did window shopping,
and i got to know a new friend!
Samantha! lol, i dint know her that well before.
& my first impression was that she was more lively than Zhuoning. Hahas

So we reached West Mall with 7minutes to spare
bought tickets and Zhuoning bought popcorn...
then we settled into the second last row, L3 L4 L5

The darn air con was so cold...i dint bring my jacket, because i dint expect to go watch a movie anyway.
The movie was nice, a comedy. But it dint have enough drama..except for the part when two of them were naked, and they banged into each other...the show is PG..
I brought along enough money, and Zhuoning dint...
so i gave her $7 for the popcorn she wanted...
and i got a free icecream...
i dint want it...so darn full already.

When the show was over, we went to the library to borrow books...
my sister's friend called me(long story)
and the librarian told me that phones weren't allowed in the library...much like at school. lols
So i went out an talked...
Came back into the library...
Sam alr borrowed 5 books, and Zhuoning was still choosing-.-
end up, she borrowed 1 book with Sam's library card, and 1 book with my EZlink...
Then we went to the MRT station and said goodbye to each other...

Came home alone,
read finished my book, and felt sick...
maybe because of the air con at the cinema...
now i got a mild flu...omg
Tried sleeping, but my blankets just got warmer and warmer...
so i tossed in bed for about 2 hours...
got up, ate dinner, then bathed, before messaging people with goodnight, sweet dreams, lalala and then i slept...
i guess i got some random dreams tho,
woke up and wondered if i was in reality or dreamland.

What to do?
O level's English Oral examination was easy, i think.
I got the one on Disabled people.

Saturday, 22nd August.6pm+
talked to Atiqah,
about the thing that has been bothering me.
I got hurt emotionally, from one of the messages she sent me
She gave another completely different perspective from what i heard.
Why is Jianlun behaving so, hostile?

Im going to see Orphan later,
Supposed to be alone,
So many people dint wanna go,
Now its only SL accompanying me.

Talked to minyi,
told her what was bothering me too.
She dint wanna talk over the phone,
and asked me to message instead.
I freaked her out abit i guess, but im freaked out even more.
One of the things she said made me angry.

What Atiqah said made sense,
yet it is so contradicting,
its like the human brain,
2 halves,
opposing the other.
We are able to see both sides of the picture, why it is, and why it issnt.
No wonder humans start wars with each other.

I'm living my life
Just the way I like
They say I get a little too loud
Try to push me in a box
Over analyze
But I'm never gonna turn it down
They say stop but I say go

Don't tell me
What I gotta do
Who I wanna be
It's for me to choose
No wrong moves
Cause I just don't have the time

Don't tell me
What I gotta do
Cause it's up to me
It's not up to you
If I wanna go crazy
No one's gonna stop me tonight

Why should I bend into what I'm not?
I'm not about to compromise who I am
Just so I can blend right in

They can say what they like
I don't hear it all
It's my life to live it
Live it just the way I want
I'm never holding back
I'm done not standing out
They say "Never" and I say "Right now!"

This morning at school,
Helped 4/3 arrange the tables back to their places...
when i was putting back one of the collapsible doors,
someone else use another and accidentally closed it on me...
now the 4 fingers are hurting haha...

Leon said his table got 2more spaces not filed up,
so he asked if jianlun and i wanted to take it...
Jianlun's not going already,
so i asked jingyu instead...
end up she already got a table for 5 girls...lol

Its damn hard to choose, being with one friend? or the other?
How do i put it?
i kept thinking the whole day...
came home,
and minyi told me something about 17/20 seats?
i wasn't sure.

Messaged leon just now,
told him i'll join his table.
Now theres this feeling of uneasiness in me,
from the time i pressed that send button.
I dont know what makes me like this...
maybe its being the only 4/4 in a group of 4/3 people?
If not, maybe its because of you.
Or what you did, no?
I dint even understand why no one called me at first
Then suddenly, poof?
i am stuck between two friends.

How the hell am i supposed to decide,
and no, it does not make me feel better if u ask me to go join them lar
Not even related to the question

Damn hard to decide right? between two friends
Or maybe i just make bad decisions

Parents made me go out to Zhu Lin Shi temple at 8am this morning-.-
because at 9am got chanting...
so we donned black robes and went into the room...
first time experience...XD
started to nian jing for like 2hours...until 11am.

After that went down to 2nd floor to get sth to eat...
my parents and ahma and i just finished eating,
then Jeremy came over and said hi...
lols
I dint know Jeremy goes to the same temple as me...
The last time i saw someone else at a temple is Shengzhe at some place where they put my late ahma's ashes

Was messaging Jianlun and Minyi and Zhuoning...
Jianlun was laughing at me...
because my parents made me go out-.-
lol

Minyi's grandma is a volunteer at the temple i went to.

Zhuoning say something about waking up late and sleeping late...
then say her beauty sleep will make her more beautiful...haha

I can't believe my parents can eat so much...
like
Breakfast > Nian jing > Brunch @ 12pm > eat 1 more bowl of tao huey...

Finally, time to go!
Quite tired...so i told zhuoning i was going to sleep...
and she dint let me.
wtf
All the wrong guesses...
i dint get much sleep either.
phone was vibrating so many times...

Came home,
slept all the way to 8+pm.
Woke up, and realised that got NDP...
turned on the TV and taadaa!
National Anthem ending,
then Credits...
lol

National day celebrations today...
celebrate in class..i thought it would end up boring

The national anthem lyrics were displayed, and for once, my whole class really sung
Although it was more like shouting the words, so i couldnt hear the PA system...
Same for the Pledge.
One of the male emcees screwed up one of the lines he was supposed to read...
and the laughter was deafening..
XD

The games were fun though,
our group tied with group 3, because nicol from my group went and helped them...
wtf
Then there was another round for my group and group 3...
end up we lose =(
haha

Yearbook have alot of the current sec 4s pictures,
probably because we're leaving next year...
Some of the pictures look funny...
so many poses XD

Dismissal,
Went out of the class, saw 4/3 taking class photo...
Atiqah told me that 4/2 took class photos also, but they dint notice she wasn't there, because Atiqah had MT class..

4/4 dint have picture taking...
thats a good thing maybe,
i dont know.

However, i took my own pictures after dismissal too














Unfortunately, Jianlun, Wanxin & Minyi dint wanna take pictures... so dont have
hahas.
The Cat picture is random...my cat just likes sitting on me

Morning,
I was waiting, for someone.
Siti came over and said Hi to me,
really appreciate it.
Jeremy came over too, asked why i dint go back class...
he looks abit pissed off,
just like me today.

In class,
Ms Tay finally allowed us to sit in pairs...
damn it
DAMN IT
i dont wanna sit with that guy man...
so i asked her, if i could sit separated from him,
because he keeps turning around to talk.
She finally said to joey
"No one seems to want to sit with nicol, you talk to him right? How about i put nicol with you, and kean can sit with weisong instead"
then she said ok...
And Ms Tay said to me
"Now u got a nice guai girl sitting with you...can dont sit separated?"
like changing places will help...
Now, i sit front row, with pekhua.
Deyun is sitting with nicol,
kean and joey are still together.
I think i become cock eye liao,
but at least im no longer sitting with that eww.

geog...mdm Ros said those who failed geog had to stay back on thursday for the night study...then i have tuition from 7 to 9 on thursday...
so she said those who wanted to see if we have to stay back tmr to find her during recess...
11am couldnt find her...
1125am i went to find her,
called her outside the HOD room,
then she called me in and scolded me.
I guess i deserved it.
Since i dint do her homework...
end up she talk to me for like a half hour,
in which Mr Koh was going through our spa skill 3...

Missed physics for 30mins...
managed to catch the important points of the lesson though.
Walking back to class at 12pm is definately not pleasant.
Walking past the classes, you get stares...
like im contagious.
Walking past teachers, you also get stares...
like that kind of "Why are you not in class now?" look

Chemistry,
was okay.
The subjest is okay.
its the group work that we are supposed to do thats FUCKING ANNOYING.
Group work, 4 people,
front row turn around right?
sitting with nicol OR Pekhua is totally different.
THEY FUCKING MOVE AND MOVE AND GOD DAMN WHAT THE TEACHER SAYS!
why? because those 3 become those 4.
Now they are inseparable.
and guess what?
Im partnerless.
and i have to join with other random people around the class who dont have groups also.
Then ali called me to join them,
Thank you ali, very much.
I cant stand my other classmates.

Used to have fun groupwork at my previous seat.
nadzrie, Azrin, Zhuoning, and me, while ali sometimes come over and joined our group.
Nadzrie and Azrin makes all the fun, but we manage to get our work done.
With other groups, its either all talk, or all work(though its not likely)
sitting in my seat now, makes me FUCKING DREADING ANY KIND OF GROUPWORK.

After school,
Maths banding...
there wasn't any banding...
so ms tay wanted to go through xinmin sec P1 first, something that we were supposed to do.
She started off by scolding the class, and sort of demanding those who dint do to go and get a AMaths drop form from the office.
Muzzafir went,
Nadzrie went,
Zhiyuan just sit there and listen to her scold him...but refused to get out of class

I think Ms tay's patience has finally worn out,
everytime she is walking to our class,
she probably think of 4/4 and she starts feeling miserable.

------------------------------------

This song on my blog,
was the one that made me cry.
All my readers,
take 5mins to listen to this song carefully.
Just 5 minutes, and tag me how u felt after that.

There's A Place In
Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could
Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You'll Find There's No Need
To Cry
In This Place You'll Feel
There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways
To Get There
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why
There's A Love That
Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong
It Only Cares For
Joyful Giving
If We Try
We Shall See
In This Bliss
We Cannot Feel
Fear Or Dread
We Stop Existing And
Start Living

Then It Feels That Always
Love's Enough For
Us Growing
So Make A Better World
Make A Better World...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

And The Dream We Were
Conceived In
Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World We
Once Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep
Strangling Life
Wound This Earth
Crucify Its Soul
Though It's Plain To See
This World Is Heavenly
Be God's Glow

We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My Heart
I Feel You Are All
My Brothers
Create A World With
No Fear
Together We'll Cry
Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn
Their Swords
Into Plowshares

We Could Really Get There
If You Cared Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
To Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Monday,
was a terrible day.
What happened, is a secret.
It made me think much too.
Stayed up late,
was messaging Zhuoning.
She takes irritatingly long to reply messages...
like, when your about to doze off...it rings.
...
Messaged halfway.
Jianlun messaged me," Are u still awake?"
and i called him back.
The conversation wasn't pleasant at all,
it was so surprising,
and it kinda shocked me.
Shocked myself for thinking,
should i, or should i not.
But i made my stand already,
and you know the reasons why.

You want me to be happy,
dont need to go all out,
because Family and Friendship are the most important things.
Not my happiness comes first.
If i suffer, and everyone else is happy, then im okay with it.
If everyone else hates me, because im the only one happy,
then i cant stay happy forever.

Monday also,
2.4 retest for Zhengtat, Deyun, Charmaine and Zhuoning.
Jianlun and i were pacing Zhengtat from the start...
the others at the back were like so...alone.
No one followed them hahas.
So i waited and paced the last person, Zhuoning...
omg, no offence, she runs very slow.
Deyun was walking, i think...
Zhuoning dint overtake him anyway.
Still she dint walk, thats good, haha
In the end, Zhengtat passed by a wholesome 15 secs i think,
and Charmaine passed too.
Now left Zhuoning and Deyun...

Walking into the school after the 2.4,
Zhuoning sprained her ankle...
and there was some kinda fuss about it...haha
like calling for medics and bring her a chair and wanting to call people to carry the chair while she sat down...lol

I dont really care anymore.
Taken from Lynn's blog:
a broken relationship is like a wound.
it hurts really badly.
and sometimes, its so severe that it bleeds.
but after a while, a scab will grow.
but if you pick at that scab
the wound will reopen,
and the blood will come out again
and it'll hurt again.
the blood is like all the misery from the past.
the more you open a wound
the longer it'll take to heal
a relationship is like that.
once its broken,
you've just got to let it heal slowly,
and not insist on picking at it and trying to salvage the relationship.
because in the end,
the misery will come back...

Was reading my storybook and listening to music at 2.30am.
I dont know how to describe it,
this immense feeling of sadness just came over me,
for no reason,
the story,
and the unnerving song
made me just feel like crying.
Messaged Jianlun,
his reply was calming,
yet i keep feeling this Sadness in me
I turned off my music, closed my book.
Turned out the lights,
tried to sleep,
but the music was there,
and it feels like your heart is getting broken,
the feeling of stabbing knives in your heart
I cried, then
into my pillow.
Never have i ever cried this hard for no reason before.
Im Sorry