Mary had a little skirt
With splits right up the sides
And everywhere that mary walk
The boys could see he thighs
Mary had another skirt
T'was split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one often

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread

Little miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Her clothes all tattered and torn
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her
It was little boy blue and his horn

Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the pieman
What have u got there?
Said the pieman unto simon
Pies you dickhead

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon
10,000 volts went up its arse
And turned its wool to nylon

Georgie porgie pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have a little fun
Jill the dill
Forgot her pill
And now they have a son

Little boy blew.
Hey, he needed the money